First things first…
I suggest you please buy a pack of chicklets coz’ this will take a bit time to grab the nuances of the business of serial making.
Chew… chew… chew…
Now you are game…
Well to cut it short, you can make anything and you’re done.
That’s it the blog for today is over…
No, seriously that’s the fad these days. Think anything and do anything. I guess the channels will buy it.
For starters, let’s have a short session on the art of Serial making in 10 easy steps
1) Whats your favourite song?
Ill count 1 to 10 and you have to tell me your favourite songs ok?
- Pehli nazar mein aisa jaadoo kar diya…
- Dil gira dafatan
- Tujh mein rab dikhta hai
- Haule haule ho jayega pyaar
- Phir milenge chalte chalte
- Love mera hit hit
So, once you have selected your fave song, close your eyes and move your finger around the song list (Please use your friends help) and Bingo! Atleast the title to your serial is ready…
2) The plot
No. No. You don’t need to buy a plot to make a serial. (Ya, once you make money of course you can) Here we are talking about the story, the theme, the plots etc
So, get going on that one!
I will give you a nice clue actually…
It’s a gaon scene (Village baba!)
The girl has big dreams… wanna marry a rich dude… who will come on horse like a knight in shining armor…
She’s a typical middle class babe (But you should show her in a jhakaas outfit… we’ll come to that later)
So this you can drag for almost 6 months
Then she goes to sheher (I mean city) meets the man of her dreams…
They fall in love… the guy has already a girlfriend (to drag the story even further)
And so on and so forth…
See all the titles fit the above story J
3) The sub-plots
These are the most important threads to the main story… some examples are cited below
- Enter the heroine’s mom’s long lost boy friend
- Enter the heroine’s husband (She was a victim of child marriage)
- Enter the dad’s long lost girl friend (see everyone has a past…)
- Importance of live-in relationships, affairs, abortions (Put these twists sudden and unannounced…) etc
- And so on…
- Please use these sub-plots once in 6 months or a year…
4) Years to kill…
The most successful part of successful serials are that they lasted much longer than their expiry dates (In spite of doctors prescription… oops! I mean the media planners)
A quick look at some historic series who lasted more than they could ever imagine…
- Kyunki saas…
- Kahaani ghar ghar ki…
- Kasauti zindagi…
- Kumkum… pyara sa badhan
- Astitva… Ek prem kahani
And mind you don’t back off until the channel walas kick your butt out. By that time you have made enough money to buy enough plots!
5) Styling the characters
Manish Malhotra has finally come down to the telly scene. Imagine all Mahabharata characters being dressedup by this guy… This guy made Urmila, Karisma, Rani, Kajol look their sexiest best. Well, you can imagine the Kuntis, Draupadis, Radhas of Mahabharata…
Don’t get too carried away with the characters…
They are not so important. Their dressing sense is.
If the gaon ki gori (Village belle) can wear impressive clothing (Churidars/ lehengas etc etc) our desi housewives will go ga ga over their fashion sense and the TRP rating (Television rating point) will naturally rise. They will start calling their friends to discuss that (Hey did u check lajo’s pink churidar on pehli nazar mein? Great naaa! I am planning to buy it for karwa chauth!) no wonder you will finally aid in boosting the telecom industry…
So guys, find the best tailor in town (Errrr….we should call them fashion designers… sorry for that)
6) Selecting the protagonists
Its not fair to give the importance of protagonists beyond 6 hence we will quickly come to this subject
Depending on the character select some near faded star (To boost her shine) or some good looking chick from Mithibai or Bhavans or some similar college and you have your protagonist ready.
As for males, select any random guy.
They all anyway act/ behave the same.
They anyway have nothing to do except give very good facial expressions… so coming to that, please, please ensure that the auditions that you do for the male stars covers facial expressions (Stuff like, puzzled, sad, sullen, surprise, What-The-F&%#-is-happening, Oh No!, Oh yes kinda expressions)
Serials are all about close-up shots so please ensure that the characters close-up shots are very well covered during auditions
7) Selecting the channel
Well, these days all of them are yearning for good quality serials. So please approach all of them. Your probability could be that all of them might accept your offer. Now, don’t give me any bull shit that they’ll decline. If they did, then how come all the serials have same story line across all the channels? Tell me?
Highlight point #1
It is verrrrry important to have an impact on the audience.
Nah!
Not the story.
Not the characters.
Not the dress even.
But the name.
Why are you repeating yourself? You will ask me…
Well, my dear friend As Bejan Daruwala, Sunita menon would support me on this, I must say that the name of the serial will make or break the serials records…
So to give you some tips..
Add some exxxxtraaa letters to the namesss..
Gottt ittt!
Well here we go again…
- Pehhli nazzarrr meinn aisaa jaaddoo karr diyaa…
- Dill girra daffatannn
- Tujhh meinn rabb dikhhtaa haiii
- Hhauule hhauule hho jaayegaa pyaarrr
- Phirr millengge challte challte
- Lovvee meraa hitt hitt
See what an IMPACT they have now.
You must be feeling a rush of blood to your brains…
Wow! I thought so!
P.S: The letters underlined are the specially added ones. We had a long chat/ discussion with the spiritual gurus and they have confirmed that adding these letters will bring good luck to you.
No yaar, really… See they have recommended for (Suniel Shetty, Karriena Kapoor and many such leading stars. They are rocking….err… Not so much… but our gurus are sure one day these stars will…well time will tell… if they have any… that is!)
9) Select the right time…
See, programming is all about getting captive audiences.
- Do you want your serial to stand out?
- Do you want housewives to beg more to watch your serial?
- Do you want good TRP ratings*?
- Do you want sponsors knocking your doors?
Well then my friend, here are some basic points you must understand…
- Afternoons: (12:00-15:00hrs)
Housewives are usually bored to death watching the same serials with no content whatsoever. They have had done enough eating, resting, meeting friends, shopping since morning. They need a break from the usual humdrum, mundane lifestyle
How long will they watch the serials on Star plus, Zee, Sony (And now NDTV Imagine, 9X, IBN-Don’t imagine, XXL and the others)
They have a good 3 hours to spare. See where you can fit in so that they can tune in!
- Prime times: (20:00-23:00hrs)
This is the time for mega serials. Heavy and chunky and dramatic stuff. If you have what it takes to grab attention go for it. The big bucks stop here. Any increase in dramatic scene will see your TAM scores* reach it’s peak. (Remember when Mihir died, Tulsi kills her Ma-in-law, Her son Ansh… The whole nation glued their eyes) And so did the sponsors…
10) Event calendar
No matter what the day, keep a tab on the events happening throughout the year. They are an integral part of the serial. Here are some examples:
- Diwali
- Christmas
- Dushehra
- Durga pooja
- Ganesh chaturthi
- Raksha Bandhan
- Eid/ Ramzan
- Women’s day
- Mother’s day
- Republic day
- Independence day
- Teacher’s day
- Children’s day
- Pongal/ Onam (In case you are doing it down south)
See, I have listed almost 12 festivals/ events, you have to include all these events in your episodes. A month or 3 weeks before show that the people are getting prepared to celebrate in their homes etc… drag… drag… etc
Still drag…
See, your serial is almost a year old now!
Well, please do send in more tips so that we can have a library of information.
We can then start an institution for serial killers.
Oh! So you have run out of chicklets now is it? Your jawbones are way too tired to punch the gum further. Time up is it?
Well the taste of chicklets may fade within some time, but how long does the serials really last?
That’s for you to decide…
Glossary:
TRP: Television Rating Points
A percentage of the audience who are exposed to (Or View) the program on the particular channel at the particular time. The higher it goes, the program becomes more popular
TAM: Television Audience Measurement
The research company who measure the TV ratings based on a pre-specified respondents
